Memory..

It was a feeling between time and space.

He was tall, articulate and fascinated with words. Smiled a lot and searched the eyes of the ones he met. Looking for something even he didnt know. Writing empty pages... full of profound words that others called wisdom and I just thought were complicating the simple things. More like what Aristotle meant when he said 'Educated men lay down broad general principles; uneducated men argue from common knowledge and draw obvious conclusions.' Our guy in question was an educated man. Earnest, keen to please, ok with the middle layer and happy with emotions. Great orator, social, loves to read and drive. Simply dressed, loves maggi, rum and jeans.
She was a flight of fantasy. Effervescent, obsessed with the new, easily bored, fiercely independent and extremely dynamic. Loves to read, goes through a book in two days. She shops, listens to music all the time and has a song for every mood swing. Lives parallel lives between all the choices she has made. Juggles between hectic work and all her friends. Is generous, caring and flexible. Clothes and experiments. Loves JackDaniel (most days), paints, color blue and collects. Pictures, music, sovenirs, memories, friends, relatives, feelings, words. Collects them all.
They met somewhere. Who cares how..? Got together. For a long long time. They had chemistry - I have to give it to them! Passionate, fearless and all consuming. Stayed together, celebrated together, travelled together, laughed and cried together.
I saw them. Remember seeing one of those couples that become a single entity. They are together.. she likes something he would make way, he likes something she would make way. Bicker and fight and kiss. Write and read in each other's lap. Never get sick of each other's presence. He would travel half way across the world for her and she would wait. She would build her dreams/ plans/ class schedule/ job around him. They did everything - long walks, exchange songs, dedicate, buy stuff for each other, feed each other, cook for each other, share, meet the parents and friends...everything. They went from 'cant keep my hands off you' to 'went out for a holiday' to 'hate you noon but love you evening' to 'cant you get your hands on me!' to 'this isnt enough' over a long period of time.
But they did get there.

He was trying to hold her so close. She was a free bird trying to find her way. He thought that was enough. She thought once the way was found, she would hold him close. He couldnt wait, her plan took longer. Then there was the world. The curiosity of meeting a fresh face, the new found financial independence, the growing up, the new job, the new topics , the new boss, the new found status in life, the crazy timeschedules, the persistence, the disparities which were earlier invisible but slowly become visible. One gives more and feels the pinch. The other keeps taking. Slowly, one feels the other doesnt listen, the other feels the one doesnt want to give enough time. Its no longer about you and me but about all other people and I dont know why.. 'Cant keep my eyes on you.'
So then its 'he said', 'she said' and they are talking a lot but to other people and not to each other. How, when, why did they get here? We can analyze and they can wonder for years later but sometimes, the punishment does not fit the crime. He made a mistake, he strayed. She didnt know. Then she chose and he didnt like the choice. He decided to walk. She watched. And just like that ...Hell froze over.

And I saw them. I still saw them as I had always seen them.

Going from 'Lovers' to friends is painful cos no one ever makes it through this transition sane. Not when two people have been so intertwined. So it is deliberately trying to apply breaks on a car going at 700miles/hour (you wish!). And it takes time for the whole machinery to come to a halt. It does - emotionally, physically, mentally, realistically. And then there are common friends that run helter skelter forced to choose sides.

And the entity broke and they became two different people. And I saw them still.

He wrote about his pain. Changed names, changed faces, changed personalities. But saying the same things. She threw herself into work. Fell in love and married. He waited, tried to get her back and then gave up. Found another woman.

And yet, I see them.

Remember seeing one of those couples who could be with different people in a room full of people and still look like they came together. An intense look from his eyes on her back and she would know he was watching. Her laughter would become louder and he would squirm inside. He would turn all his attention to the girl he came with and she would suddenly need another drink. She would bore a hole in his back with her stare, checking out the girl. She would say she is happy for him. He coudnt reciprocate the same. Always polite, always cordial. He would watch her eat asparagus thinking she hates asparagus!! She would watch the girl feed him cake thinking he hates cake! They both would say the food was lovely.
He would pretend to be buddies with her husband. They would talk about cricket, markets, work, beer, smoke and the 'men things' and NEVER about each other and NEVER about women. She would watch from a distance pretending she loved the drapes of the hostess.
He would watch her compliment the girl he came with on the color choice pretending to be busy checking his blackberry. She would dance on the floor, same moves, pretty as hell, whispered conversations but someone else's arms around her waist. Her lips whispering something but her eyes searching for him.
He would put an arm around the waist of the girl he came with, draw her close and she would think he was into her. She would watch them dance as she sat in her husband's lap and smile. They would avoid eye contact.
And the DJ would play 'Come on baby light my fire..' and both of them would think Oh!We used to love this song!

What burns? The love? The time spent and nothing in return? Happy memories no longer there? Or that feeling of having owned something that no longer belongs to you?

What would I know? I just saw them.