Unnecesary preaching..

So there comes the long weekend. Aarwen is one of those people who is unabashedly single and carefree. No, you just cant get her to feel sad about it or get her to succumb to the social, age or physical pressure! Somehow the only thing she succumbs to is love. And lets look at her life pattern. She went out to shop, caught up with friends for Mexican food and Margheritas, drinks and dancing till the wee hours of the morning. Yes, her pattern has not changed from Mumbai to Singapore . The next day was full of pool parties, late lunches and movies. This is how she wants her life to be and lets not disturb it for her just yet. She was warming up to this city.
Isn't that how life is supposed to be? Predictable patterns that you can control and familiarise with. No rude surprises. There is something about ‘patterns’ that makes us so rigid. We all have a dating pattern, a living pattern and a thinking pattern. If we identify that for someone, we pretty much know the person (oh I said - almost!).
But the problem with patterns is, if we are addicted to something that is not good for us, we keep repeating it. Like this friend of Aarwen’s (lets call her ‘Red’), has a thing for unattainable men. She has dated a guy 20 years elder to her, a married guy and a guy in a different country altogether. She doesn’t seem to fall for the normal kind. Then there is this another friend of her’s (lets call her ‘Blue’ for ease) who has a pattern of falling for the wrong guy and has trouble letting them all go. And there is someone I know (lets call her ‘Pink’) who is pretty sane but has a pattern for falling for guys who just don’t care enough for her and are commitment phobic.
And then they wonder why they never get the right guy who gives them what they want! Are they all doomed to repeat the same relationship pattern subconsciously?
Everyone should do a sanity check for this once in every quarter – ‘Am I looking for jerks?’ The answer might surprise you. And this applies to men too. Aarwen knows this guy ‘Black’ who looks for succcessful,independent, hot women who consider him dispensable. And he repeats this patterns with every new girlfriend. She has known him for 8 years now.
So we are all flawed people with imperfect dating patterns and doomed. Big deal!
The question is -Till when? The thing with patterns is that they change. Good or bad I don’t know. But they do change. And as for repeating them, the trick is in knowing it. Once you have figured out the pattern, you can control it (atleast sometimes).

Or it will continue till there is an external stimulus that makes you change it.
And like Aarwen once told this friend of her’s (Gold) - You have to go through a couple of wrong people to know the true worth of the right person when he comes along’.
And this applies to all relationships. May it be friend/ lover/ sibling or spouse.
And to get there… flawed patterns are a must. Its these that make us fall in love with people different to us and in a lot of cases (including Aarwen’s) happier than we would have otherwise expected to be.

So go on...break that pattern!